Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Depression - there! I said it!!

The news of Robin Williams has hit the worldwide news pretty hard!! 
An inspirational and amazing actor that many of us will never forget! 

The main news headline regarding his death? 'It was Suicide'. 

Realising that actually I've never 'labeled it' in my blog, just highlights the fear of stigma, being labeled & the scary thought of people knowing, thus judging, that I have. 
So here goes...
I am a depression sufferer. 
Therefore I have some understanding (to a certain extent as all experiences are different!!) how Robin may have been feeling. Comments of how much money, a loving family & a stable career he had have nothing to do with his mental health, and maybe one day people will understand this without the torture of experiencing it first! 
Maybe the worst part is when people say 'you'll be fine' or 'stay positive' when there's not a bone in your body or an ounce of energy left in you to actually believe or do that! 

I've felt a bit like the british weather recently, very up & down. There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me, either I'm high on life acknowledging how blessed I am and the love that surrounds me, or I'm in a dark pit of what seems like oblivion; exhausted and hopeless. 

In all honesty, it often feels as though I'm walking through this horrible dark, cold tunnel... Then I see the light at the end!!!! - But it turns out to be a train. 
At least using this analogy of a tunnel can show some positive sign... That train gas to come from somewhere, meaning there is a way out! I just need to have the strength to get there!! 

The point of this post is that we shouldn't have to wait for celebrities etc to be defeated by depression to talk about it and start acknowledging it! It shouldn't have to be a taboo and sufferers like myself shouldn't have to be ashamed of it or be afraid of the stigma!! 

Only our population have the power to change it - so what are we waiting for?! 

Saturday, 9 August 2014

I am...?

I kicked off my super duper summer with one of my favourite weeks of the year - Territorial Music School!! (Which has come & gone waaaay too quickly!!) 

Not only was it a very fun week spent with these beautiful gals
but also a very challenging week both physically & emotionally!! 
The theme was 'I am...' which has had me thinking ever since - who am I?! Who is Sabrina Waters, what makes me, me? What am I? and what does that name mean to other people?!

If there is one thing I can say for certain it is that I AM extreeeeemely blessed!!! Without a doubt! 
I wish I was able to spend mooore time with my TMS family, each and every one of them are incredible people! 

I'm now lying under my mosquito net in Zambia listening to the TMS2014 soundtrack. Here my eyes and heart are constantly being opened to more & more realities & challenges!! 
Life here is super different and as much as I can't wait to be home to tell everyone all about it, I'm very much dreading what effects returning to reality is going to have on me!! 

Very excited for the rest of my time here though :)))