Sunday 11 November 2018

No Uniform? No Problem.

Exclusive. A word often used to describe The Salvation Army due to its ‘soldiership’ membership. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my church but for many years, being a ‘Senior Soldier’ was your only ticket into the band, the songsters (singing group) and taking part in major events - not really the reasons to become a soldier but they're enticing ey? I’m not a senior soldier, I never have been. Being an 'officers kid' (my parents work for The Salvation Army), this was a very difficult decision to make when turning 18 and majority of the church ‘expected’ your next step to involve going into uniform... maybe it was a bit of the rebel in me saying ‘Im not doing this because you’re expecting me to’ but a lot more of it was a personal decision that it’s never felt right, I’ve never yet felt that being a Senior Soldier is for me and I didn't feel comfortable doing it just to be in the sections when I personally enjoy a gin or prosecco from time to time! This has never been an easy decision and sometimes continues to be difficult, going against others expectations, watching the band play and songsters sing and not being able to be a part of it, able to go to practices but the barriers came up as soon as it was Sunday or an event. But worry not; things are changing!! In many Salvation Army corps (including the one I am a part of) the band and songsters are opening up, if you are an active member you no longer have to be a senior soldier or wear a uniform and it’s definitely been worth the wait! Today is Remembrance Sunday. The Salvation Army take part in Remembrance parades all over the country, but in London they march down all the busiest streets, stopping traffic and hold their own small service at the main cenotaph before marching back to Regent Street. When I arrived into central London this morning I had no idea that later that day I would myself be marching as part of The Salvation Army! A little apprehensive at first that pretty much everyone else on the march looked the same, all in their uniform or in a dark coat... me in my spotty jeans and brown coat (and if you know me well, you know I hate being centre of attention!!) - I felt a bit like a statement that said - we are inclusive, come and join us - you don’t have to wear a uniform!! Now this is not me saying ‘don’t go into uniform there’s no point’ , to some people it forms a huge part of their faith journey and when marching through London people recognise The Salvation Army straight away. But The Salvation Army is my church, just because I’m not a soldier does not mean I don’t belong and can't be a part of it and today was perfect for showing me that.

Sunday 16 September 2018

It’s in your mind..


So how did my half marathon go for the Great East Run 2018 in Ipswich today? 

In all honesty, it went as well as I could expect with the amount of training I didn’t manage to do due to various factors. However; running is and always will be a mental sport. The truth is, my mentality and confidence for this race was brutally affected by my lack of training in comparison to previous races and generally where my head has been. 

When I got to the top of the hill out of Holywells Park in Ipswich at just about mile 4 I started to panic, everything felt heavy, everything hurt and suddenly everything around me was spinning, my head was shouting at me ‘you can’t do this and you’ve only managed up to 4 miles, what will everyone think’...I was shaking, I was crying and my breathing was all over the place... now I can’t exactly remember what happened next but something clicked, the next part of the road was downhill and my legs broke out into a run again. My head carried on telling me I couldn’t do it until around mile 8/9 and I had a friend running alongside me helping me to fight it, reminding me ‘you can!’. At around mile 9 I gave myself a pep talk, ‘Sabrina Waters doesn’t give up, not now and not ever, she’s stronger than this stupid head talk and she will make it to the end of this race! C’mon Sabs, you can do it!’ 


And I couldn’t be happier to say that I did make it to the end! I overcame the anxiety, the negative mindset and started to believe I could.  Finishing that race has reminded me what I’m capable of when my mind is in the right place. It wasn’t a PB, and though I thought I’d be devastated I feel quite at peace with that because I finished well! And I still love to run 😊 


Ttfn;